Christian Privilege and Flying

I recently got into a disagreement with someone who insisted that Christians are treated badly in the US and that non-Christians pretty much always have it better. So, I did some looking and found that there is a Christian Privilege List out there, much like the white privilege or male privilege or think privilege lists. Overall, it’s a pretty good list. The one flaw I saw (and that others pointed out) is that a lot of the items are only accurate if you’re on whichever side of the Catholic/Protestant divide is favored in your local area or social group, because a lot of the privileges don’t fully apply to Catholics who are surrounded by Protestants, at least from the experiences of Catholics I know, and from my experience around Evangelical Christians who tend to say dumb stuff about Catholicism. (Presumably, vice versa too, but I don’t have the experience of being a Protestant somewhere with a Catholic majority, so I couldn’t say from personal experience.)

The privilege at the very bottom of the list, “I can openly display my religious symbol(s) on my person or property without fear of disapproval, violence, and/or vandalism,” struck me today, because I’m flying for work. And like I always do when I walk into situations where I expect (reasonably or unreasonably) to be treated crappily, I use clothing as armor. I dress nice, I put on make-up, I wear jewelry. And it occurred to me that wearing one of the pretty cross necklaces that I own would probably be useful in creating the impression I want to create, and might make it less likely for me to get pulled for the dreaded extra pat-down or get bumped off a flight. It seemed crass, and borderline blasphemous, to callously use a sacred symbol that way, though, so I didn’t. But it occurred to me how unpleasant it must be to know that your religious symbols mark you as an other, as someone to watch and be suspicious of. And I imagine that there are people getting ready for their own flights, wondering if they should try to “pass” so they don’t miss their flight. And I think about the Saudi kid at the Boston Marathon, just another victim doing what the other victims were doing, and getting tackled solely because of his “suspicious” appearance.

What “Counts” As a Veggie

Tonight, Matt and I had hot dogs for dinner, something occurred to me as I was putting ketchup and relish on my hot dog and pondering whether or not I wanted a salad. Remember the big hoopla about school cafeterias counting ketchup as a vegetable? The shock! The horror! But wait…if ketchup isn’t a vegetable, then how come tomato juice is? (Matt’s theory: V8 has a better PR department than Heinz.) Part of it is the serving size, and the amount of actual vitamins in a standard serving, sure. But I have to think that there’s also the underlying assumption that if it’s something most kids will eat willingly, it can’t possibly be good for you.

A tablespoon of ketchup has a bit of vitamins A and C, and not much else except some salt and sugar. But, while a cup of tomato juice has a lot more of both, as well as a bit of calcium, some potassium, and a little fiber, it also contains a crap-ton and a half of salt. (20% of your recommended daily intake, to be exact.) So is that good, or bad? Well, if you have high blood pressure, it’s terrible. If you’re at risk of scurvy, it’s freaking awesome. And ketchup, being sugary, is also a fantastic source of calories. Again, not so good if you’re diabetic or hypoglycemic, but potentially really useful for kids who need the energy to get through math class, especially if the school lunch is the main meal they’re getting that day.

Yoga, Fat, and Internalized Oppression

Over at Dances with Fat, Ragen Chastain has a really nice take-down of an article on modifying yoga poses for fat bodies. The instructor who wrote the original article was apparently paid by the word–or, possibly, by the stereotype, because there was about a paragraph of useful pose modifying information buried by a ton of poorly thought-out assumptions. Like, did you know people who are 100 or more pounds overweight have trouble lifting their arms above their head? And that even an “athletic” fat person will have to bust their ass to keep up with a yoga class (but will do so as a point of pride).

One of the commenters noted that the author describes herself as plus-size, and that a lot of the article is probably internalized bigotry talking, which makes it even more face-palmy. The amount of cognitive dissonance required to stereotype fat people as inactive and unfit, when you yourself are a fat *yoga instructor* makes my brain bleed. She *almost gets it* because she says “One size—or one way of thinking or teaching—doesn’t fit, inspire or help all.” and then proceeds to categorize four “types” of fat yoga students and make assumptions about their experience and fitness level based on how they look.

Weight *does* have an effect on yoga, and it’s really useful to know how to modify a given pose based on body shape. There are certain bends that I can’t do as far as I used to, because the belly gets in the way. So knowing alternate ways to stretch the same muscles, or props to use to make it work, would be awesome. And having read the article, the pose modifications are actually useful. Like, doing the knee to chest pose one leg at a time. That’s an excellent idea, and I will have to try it. But I really could’ve stood to not wade through a bunch of b.s. assumptions to get to it.

Beauty is kind of like health

The comments section of one of Ragen Chastain’s posts segued off into a criticism of any discussion of beauty.

beauty should not be a factor at all in movements like Fat/Size Acceptance. A woman should not have to identify as curvy, hot, sexy or beautiful to be accepted in Fat/Size Acceptance and this is what the movement is today

and

Still by stating that everyone is beautiful you are setting the grounds that being beautiful, a person’s looks are the most important thing about them. That the perception of beauty is the number one thing we need to change about the opponents of fat people.

Fat Acceptance spends most of the day on Facebook and Tumblr saying “you are beautiful” “Thanks and you are beautiful too”. That is not much better than the fat haters that say no fat person is beautiful or handsome.

Beauty is a outside issue that Fat Acceptance spends entirely too much time on, instead of dealing with Fat Issues.

First, I don’t know what Fat Acceptance sites the commenter is following where people sit around and tell each other they’re beautiful all day. If you look at the Fatosphere Feed right now, here’s what you’ll see:

• a post about depression
• a post about Star Wars filk
• Body Love Wellness’s yearly roundup post
• one post that talks about taking up space and being under constant public scrutiny
• one about the medical challenges fat, older women face during pregnancy
• an FA Christmas gift list
• my completely non-fat-related post about the Newtown massacre
• a post about the mixed messages given to fat people exercising

Take out the ones that aren’t specifically fat-related, and you’re left with 5 posts, only 2 of which have the slightest reference to beauty (the gift list and the Body Love Wellness roundup), and neither of which focus exclusively on it.

That doesn’t sound like an exclusive or overwhelming focus to me.

Yes, beauty is a thing that gets talked about in FA spaces. Sometimes in a warm, fuzzy “appreciate the beauty in everybody” way, other times criticizing the way women are judged so completely on their looks. I mean, I found “You don’t have to be pretty” through an FA blog. I don’t remember which one, possibly several.

I agree with some of the concern—that it’s easy to overvalue beauty and to buy into the idea that physical attractiveness is one of the primary goals people should strive for, especially if you’re a woman. We should recognize beauty as a nice thing but not a necessary one, and an optional one, not a duty.

But at the same time, freaking nowhere in FA do I see women “have to identify as curvy, hot, sexy, or beautiful” to be accepted. I think I recall, way back when, on Shapely Prose, some disagreement on someone calling herself ugly, because people have the same “oh my gosh, no you’re not!” reaction to “I’m ugly” that they do to “I’m fat.” And even in that discussion, I’m pretty sure it was widely accepted that beauty does not determine anybody’s value as a human being.

I think talking about beauty standards is valuable in FA for a lot of the same reasons that talking about health is valuable. Neither of them should be viewed as a prerequisite for being treated decently, but they’re both things that our fat-hating culture is busy telling us that we can’t have, and that we’re worthless because we don’t have. I really think the message of FA should be the same towards health and beauty both: neither is relevant to your worth as a person, both have value, and being fat does not disqualify you from either.

We’re allowed to be nuanced and multifaceted in response to cultural bullshit. It’s perfectly reasonable to say “That’s not true *and* it’s not relevant,” to messages like “Fat people are ugly” or “Fat people are sick.” Saying “That’s not true,” should not automatically make people assume that we’re agreeing that the statement is relevant.

Another aspect of this is that people as a whole are, unfortunately, pretty shallow. People who are viewed as attractive are more likely to be hired, more likely to be promoted, more likely to be viewed as smart or good. And looks discrimination is part of fat discrimination. It’d be an awfully hollow victory to have weight declared a protected class but to have “I didn’t refused to hire them because they’re fat; I didn’t hire them because they’re ugly,” be an airtight defense to accusations of weight discrimination.

So I see nothing wrong with trying to widen our definition of physical attractiveness at the same time that we challenge the notion that beauty has the slightest thing to do with worth as a person or is something we owe those around us. Just like I see nothing wrong with pointing out the errors and logical inconsistencies related to fat and health at the same time we challenge the notion that health has the slightest thing to do with worth as a person or is something we owe those around us.

Tragedy

I wish I had something profound or helpful or comforting to say over the massacre of 20 elementary students and 7 adults at a school. I don’t. I mostly have tears and profanity. And prayers that I don’t really even know what to ask. Because there is no possible answer to the question “Why?” that could help much.

The one useful thing that I do have is a story. Her name was Victoria Soto. She was a first-grade teacher and a hero. She hid her kids in a closet and said they were at the gym. May God watch over her family and may we remember her name long after we forget the name of the killer.

I’m already paying for the ice cream

So, I’ve seen this gem floating around the interwebs after the election. Apparently it came from 2008, but it got trotted out again this year, along with a lot of “Obama won because he promised free stuff.”

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade that election year.

The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest.

I decided we would have an election for a class president. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech, and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.

We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie, and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

…

Jamie went first.

He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best.

Everyone applauded, and he sat down.

Now is was Olivia’s turn to speak.

Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down.

The class went wild. “Yes! … Yes! …We want ice cream.”
… How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? Olivia wasn’t sure, but no one pursued that question. They took her at her word.

Would her parents buy it, or would the class pay for it? Olivia didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream … Jamie was forgotten … Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Hussein Obama opened his mouth, he offered free ice cream, and 51.4 % of the people reacted like nine year olds. They wanted ice cream.

The other 48.6% percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow, and clean up the mess.

So what “ice cream” exactly, was I promised? Free birth control? Oh, you mean birth control as part of my *health insurance*? Half of which I’m paying for and half of which my company is paying for, as part of my total compensation for the work I do? If that’s my ice cream, I’m already paying for it.

*Not* privatizing Social Security or Medicare? Again, already paying for it. Wall Street Reform? Also already paying for it, or, more accurately, paying for it not having been done sooner, though I’ve gotten back to the point where I can look at my 401k again without whimpering.

Same-sex marriage? Well, that ice cream isn’t even for me*, but everyone it is for, is, again, already paying for it. Unmarried gay couples have a higher tax burden than they would if they were married, while the hubby and I get tax benefits from being married. Plus, everybody’s taxes go toward all the structures that support the benefits marriage confers—everything from the clerk’s office where you get your marriage license to the people writing and enforcing the tax code to the courts that enforce the property and other legal rights that go along with marriage.
So same-sex couples have basically been buying my ice cream for the last six years while having to spend tons more to buy crappy frozen yogurt for themselves. (The crappy frozen yogurt being powers of attorney, living wills, etc. that are a second-rate substitute for marriage.)

Like it was in 2008, the “we lost because of free stuff, people are greedy and dumb, wah” meme is just a convenient way of ignoring the actual problems with conservative politics as a whole. And it has the side benefit of villainizing and demeaning your opponents, which is always way more fun than actually listening to them.

*This is as good a place as any to note that I’m not actually 100% straight (“mostly straight” is probably about right), and there’s a slim chance that if my husband were hit by a bus or left me for Felicia Day, I might conceivably date women. So, it could at some future point affect me, but at this moment and for the foreseeable future, that ice cream isn’t for me.

Things Kelly is Not Allowed to Do: Election Edition

Four more years with President Obama, and the first ever popular vote approving same-sex marriage. I’m an incredibly happy camper right now. (If we can get the First Lady to knock of the weight-policing crap, I’ll be even happier. Four more years of “Let’s Move” may be the thing I’m *least* looking forward to out of the election.)

So, here’s a list of “Things Kelly is Not Allowed to Do.”

• Dance in the streets or shout from the rooftops. I’m especially not allowed to dance on the rooftops, because I would fall and break something.
• Pass out celebratory donuts (preferably blue frosting and rainbow sprinkles) at my conservative office.
• Go to every local Chick-Fil-A and yell “HA HA!”
• Bug all my gay friends about when they’re getting married.